Engrish

In the States, we like Japanese and Chinese writing. The characters look cool. That's why so many people get tattoos of things they have NO CLUE what they mean, and trust a tattoo artist. Most Japanese who have been to America have stories of encountering a tattoo that says something like, "Construction" or some other similarly important word that deserves a permanent place on our skin.

That said, we can relax knowing that Japan often butchers our Language as badly as we butcher theirs. Here are some prime examples and their locations I've encountered. I've omitted some of the truly filthy ones (like you often see on 5 year old girls' t-shirts) so that I won't make anyone reading this blush. They are punctuated with shots of Cherry Blossoms because it's that time of year and I felt like it.

After having said that, here's a hat some friends bought for me. It's in some of the pictures.

"The desire not be ghettoised as a playground for hardcore perverts is apparent in a dress code stipulating goat costume before S&M gear.

They don't get much better than that, but here are some other fun examples from two of my students notebooks. Now, this is not what they wrote, these are the covers of their notebooks, as purchased.

A cartoon drawing of Alice from Alice in Wonderland and...

"My mind is paralyzed. A wonderful day."

A picture of a blond haired blue eyed baby and a cake...

"New life begins from today. Being surrounded by my favorites... My dream that has begun to move. Let's produce an elegant dining table. Soft light makes foods delicious. The table is fully loaded with every kind of taste. Ever deepening taste of my household dishes. I've come to know true joy. I now live nicely. Ah! An actual sense."

Posted message in a Japanese hotel:

"You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid."

Graduation and Stuff...

Me with my Graduating 3rd years. One is going to the English School!
& Me with Nakamura Kyoko sensei, my JTE.

Graduation was two weeks ago. Unfortunately, it occurred on the same day at both of my schools, but I was able to go to Tenryu's graduation to see off my students there. It was a little bitter sweet, of course, having to say goodbye to my students. But it was certainly more difficult for the other teachers and the students. In Japan, teachers are cycled around usually every 3 years to new schools. This can be VERY difficult for them socially, as it will often separate them from their friends and family by a couple hours drive. So after graduation, there are tearful goodbye speeches from the departing teachers. The students cry. Understandable, considering they spend more time at school then home and teachers, particularly homeroom teachers, end up becoming almost like another parent. I also had to say goodbye to my JTE in Tenryu, Nakamkura Kyoko sensei (pictured). The new JTE will arrive tomorrow.

Me with my 3rd and 4th grade Elementary students after a Christmas lesson
& Me with my beard at the village restaurant after two weeks in India.

Aside from that, I've been keeping busy with goodbye parties and snowboarding. The snowboarding has been fun, and I even went out and picked up a board. It's strange to have something I really enjoy doing in the winter. I'm almost sad to see it go. Spring has really come, and the Cherry Blossoms are blooming around Tenryu. So on that note, this post has a few photos that I've been sitting on for a while. Hope you like 'em.

Me teaching in Urugi with Usami Sensei.


Snowboarding with Kyoko, her two coworkers, and son. I hadn't bought my board yet.

Me Snowboarding with some of the Iida area ALTs. Now sporting my hot new board.

Finally, it looks like I will be coming home this summer for 2 weeks. Those 2 weeks are: August 17th - 30th or so. Block it off now.

Mumbai (Bombay) and Elephanta Island [Sorry. This one has been in Draft for AGES...]

I can only dream of the day I have such a magnificent 'stache.

After a drive back to Delhi, we flew down to Mumbai with the hopes of seeing a Bollywood movie, or maybe being picked up off the street to play a western extra. I want to dance and do a little head shake shoulder move. After a little scuffle with our cabbie, we left our night 1 hotel and hit the street for a market.

This was what I'd been waiting for since I got to this country. A real market, real people shopping for vegetables, fruit, fish (covered in flies) and best of all, REAL STREET FOOD! I ate my first of many 3 rupee Samosas (about 8 cents) and it was amazing. After we wandered a bit longer, we came across some kids playing soccer, who we joined. After I embarrassed myself and fell on the ground trying to kick the ball (It was really, dusty! Another kid did it too I swear!) I just talked to the older kids about America, India, and Japan while the girls talked to the younger kids. It was one of several interactions we had in India where money was never mentioned. There were lots of spectators as we talked and messed around with the kids, but it was a lot of fun.

Me playing soccer with the older kids & Laura messing with the younger ones.

The next day, we saw the kids again, and then transitioned to a different, cheaper hotel. On the way I did my first Yoga. I tried Yoga breathing in College once, but this was the first time I'd been put in front of a teacher (at the Yoga Institute no less) and made to feel completely inadequate with my flexibility. Awesome.

A perspective on sleeper cars... not sure why I look so damn serious... & Cristina pointing out a somewhat important sign.

Eventually we caught a boat to Elephanta island. It's a cool network of caves on an Island off the coast of Mumbai that have lots of statues, many of which are dedicated to telling the story of the Hindu god, Shiva. The first cave was amazing and had all the pictures you see... the rest, should you ever visit, are skippable. It's a World Heritage site though, and def. was one of the coolest things we saw on the trip. Lots of picture from that on the albums. It's the really cool statues in the caves.

Shiva and Krishna's creation story in the caves of Elephanta Island.

Then, we caught a train down to Goa. I will not be discussing Goa except to describe it as like a British Key West. Lots of older folks and a certain Hedonistic vibe. The beach was great though. The following are are links to Cristina and Laura's web albums. They have a few new pictures over mine, so if you're interested, give 'em a look. Maybe one more India update... maybe not. I'm falling behind (by about 3 months) and I have a huge festival in 2 weeks. Send me emails and say hi!

Goa. Me with one of the cows wandering the beach.

Laura's Photos

Cristina's Photos

Hounen Matsuri (Fertility Festival)

I had heard about this one a while ago. And when you hear about a huge wooden penis parade, you kinda take notice. Apparently this one is unusual for Japan too. When Kyoko saw my pictures, she said it looked quite strange.

Choices Choices... & My Chocolate covered Banana.

So basically it's a huge Fertility festival, one of the largest in Japan. The Tagata Jinja (Temple) is a year round shrine for fertility. Young couples go to visit and pray for fertility and even to touch the wooden phalli inside as part of that exercise. But once a year, the huge, 2.5 meter wooden penis you see in the pictures, makes a pilgrimage from its temple, to the nearby temple of what is supposed to be an equally impressive wooden vagina. I say "supposed to," because despite our looking in the temple, we were never able to catch a glimpse of it. If women touch the phalli during this parade, it's the ultimate in fertility blessings, so naturally with all the mid-20's foreigner women I know (I swear all I hear sometimes is talk about babies), there was a lot of that going on.

Some of the other foreigners at the festival.
And a nice, somewhat touchy feely older Japanese man.
& The Famous Shrine being carried in the parade.

Thankfully, the weather also could not have been better. The cold has finally broken and spring is definitely here. The Ume (plum) blossoms are coming out, Sakura are also just starting to show themselves as well.

After the festival, I had a small party at my house. It was a little awkward renting a keg from one of my student's grandfathers, but that's rural life I suppose. And given the drinking culture here, I wasn't too worried. All in all a great weekend.

Here's the Link to the Photo Album.

Snow and Fertility (read: Penis) Festival

I stayed up way too late the other night. A friend in a Town right next to my village, actually separating my two villages, invited me to come to a snow festival. The festival was to take place on top of a mountain in a village called Niino, which had been assimilated into his larger town of Anan. Niino's snow festival is known throughout Japan (or at least Nagano) and even occupies a slot on the top "1000" or "100" Cultural Events in Japan. That sounds like a really imressive list to be on, except for the fact that they love making lists here. "The 100 Most Famous Foods," "The 50 Most Significant Artists," "The Top 100 Rock Formations on This 50 Meter Stretch of Road." There are lots. But seeing as I'm a little more excited about festivals than rocks, I decided to go.

Left: People praying. Right: Little girl praying

Niino is in the mountains, bitterly cold (for Southern Nagano) and their festival is crazy. Essentially, the whole day is spent preparing for the appearance of Kame- Sama. Kame sama is sort of like a mountain god. So the people pray to him, and for him to bless them with a good crop and fertility for the coming year. There are all sorts of coincedences that can work to your advantage at the festival. If there does, in fact, happen to be snow during the snow festival, that means there will be a bumper crop (Lots of food). If you are conceived during the festival, you're going to be very lucky. This, in particular, used to have special significance in the past when the festival had some more Dionysian aspects to it which have disappeared in recent, more conservative times.

Schooling the kid on the good old days. Lighting the Fires with a boat on a string.

When we got up to the top of the mountain for the start of the festival at 11, many people from the village were dressed up in religious or celebratory clothes, while the rest of us were toting around cameras. The promise of craziness was all around in the forms of a huge pile of dead trees and paper to be burned, a mass of huge logs tied together and sticking straight up in the air (also to be burned) and a never ending supply of sake for cheap next to the drum can fires nearby.

Beating on Kame Sama's door.

People prayed. Made music. Prayed some more. I had work the next day and it was already past my bedtime. At about 1, the firefighters had had enough, so they picked up big sticks, and started beating on the side of Kame Sama's house and shouting for him to come out. Niino replaces that side of the house every year. Kame Sama was having none of this though and refused to show his face. So they pulled out a battering ram. The firefighters spent the next 20 minutes or so beating on Kame Sama's house with sticks and ram, but to no avail. So the priest nearby was like, "Hey. Let's start a fire! That will make him come out!" So they sent a little ship up on a wire to start a fire at the top of the logs. Very slowly, the ship would rise, then fall a little. Two steps forward, one step back, just further building the suspense that was already killing me. Then some more people thought, "Hey! I know! I've got it! Let's dance. He's got to come out if we dance!" So the dancing with bamboo leaves began, and they opened a path for Kame Sama. Middle schoolers with torches pushed the tripod toting Japanese out of the way as the fire was building on the logs. And then, he appeared.

Kame Sama appears, then dances!

Kame Sama appeared with his mask, his huge stick (representative of a penis for fertility) on his head, and another huge stick (guess what this one represents... another penis. He does symbolize fertility.) that he carried with him. If I'd stayed long enough, I could have been whacked on the head with his huge stick and had good luck (Just waiting for the jokes there). But by this point, I had about 3.5 hours of sleep available before a 12 hour work day and a 40 minute ride home, so I turned tail. But I will definitely be going again next year.

Kame Sama doing his thing. Kame Sama's first appearance.

I want some of that good luck.

The Taj Mahal and begging.

After 3 days of travel, 2 nights slept in airports (Christmas Eve included), and a cold that had the girls I was traveling with watching me in my sleep waiting for me to "cough up blood," we had Christmas Dinner in Agra, and this was our view.

Photo Thanks to Laura.

That's the Taj Mahal of course. There were no real Christmas trees, no huge roast piece of meat, and no family in this hemisphere, but I still couldn't have been happier munching down on curry, nan, and drinking King Fisher as the sun set over the rooftops of Agra.

Sunrise at the Taj Gates.

The next day we woke up to actually go to the grounds of the Taj Mahal. We were the second group in line, with only a British couple in front of us. It was still dark at 5:30 when we got there, but we were able to get a great spot for the sunrise when the gates opened at 6. We had our cameras set to long exposure as we watched the ghost of the Taj Mahal fade into view through the foggy sunrise. It's hard to explain just how beautiful the Taj is, but I hope the pictures that we took give some impression. Frankly though, they can't do it justice. It's truly epic, and waking up early, having the sun rising in the east, and the moon still setting in the west was a little too poetic.

Few things get me up that early...

The rest of the day we played connect four with a restaurant owner (he let me win the first one... hustler.) and then wandered around a market buying Sari's and overpriced "95%" silver jewelry. The Sari's were gorgeous and colorful. Cristina went through the whole process of buying one and there are more photos of that up on the album.

That's a lot of colors.

The street with all the markets was interesting , particularly our first experience with begging children in India. It was sad, because A) They don't leave you alone. B) You know their parents sent them to do this because they're adorable, and C) This is a JOB in India. For the children it is something they are born into, but often, given the option of another profession, or real help they return to begging.

One story jumps to mind that we were told at the Yoga Institute in Mumbai (Bombay). An Instructor was lecturing on life, and explained that her friend had seen a beggar with no pants. She went home and got the beggar a sari to wear. The beggar graciously accepted it, and the friend walked away. After a few paces she turned around, and found that the beggar had already taken off the sari and continued begging naked. It's a real departure from what I was used to seeing back home, and very jarring to see so many children doing it. In Mumbai, the children even went so far as to pinch us and tug my arm hair to try to get money out of us.

Taj and the Moon.

So that's the info on the Taj and my rant on begging in India. On the plus side, some of the little kids selling Taj snow globes outside the gates were really entertaining. A dialogue with Laura:

Kid: "A very good gift! You want a snowglobe?"
Laura: "No Thanks."
Kid: "Very good price. 100 Rupees and a kiss!"
Laura: "What?! I think I'm a little old for you."
Kid pauses for a moment then says: "My brother then!"
Laura: "I'm too old for your brother too. I'm 56."
Kid stops to think, then: "My father then! My father!"

Cute.

Bought this shirt off of one of the kids selling things outside the Taj.
He said it was a medium...

Click here for my photos from India

All I want for Chritmas is Curry and Beach.

This is less of a fun post or a story post than an informative post. Many people do know, but some don't that this Christmas I'm not staying in Japan. I'm also not coming home. Instead, I'm going with a couple friends from here in Japan to India.

The plan is as follows:
1) Fly into Chennai
2) Immediately fly to Delhi
3) Christmas at the Taj Mahal
4) Mumbai for a few days
5) Goa for New Years. Party.
6) Hampi for gorgeous, freaky temples for a day or two
7) Flight out of Chennai

Obviously I can't give photos yet, but I promise bunches when I get back. And if anyone has some advice on India... I can't use it. My head is about to explode with planning this as is and if you tell me one more must-see spot to go, I'll believe you and try to make it work. Otherwise, Happy Holidays and I hope you are enjoying the snow back stateside.

Nuts to that. I need beach.